What I am NOT an expert in

My dad had a bypass a month ago.   Because of the bypass, he’s not allowed to drive (or ride in the front seat), lift anything over his head, or do a bunch of other things.  He’s also attending rehab at a hospital 90 miles from my grandpa’s farm.  So, I (temporarily) moved out to South Dakota to help out.  I’m the chauffeur. 

So three times a week, I wake up at 5:45, set the cruise control and drive to Pierre South Dakota.  (Seriously, I think Pierre is probably the smallest of all state capitals.)  We get to the hospital, go up to the 4th floor, and my dad gets wired up so he can be monitored while he walks on a treadmill (and a couple other machines) for 30 minutes.  I sit down, open a book, and try to not get caught checking out this adorably cute girl that works on the other side of the rehab center.  She’s about 5’5″, wears her blond hair pulled back in a french braid, and smiles a lot at the people she works with.

Yesterday, the cute girl walked into the hospital carrying a grocery bag filled with 2 liter bottles of soda at the same time my dad and I walked in.  I don’t usually go out of my way to meet people, but when a gift-wrapped opportunity comes along, I’m not terribly shy about siezing it. So I offered to carry the bag upstairs for her. 

Now, if anyone STILL wonders why I’m single after all this time, here’s the reason why.  My best opening line of the year is “Can I carry your books?”  Yeah.  I’m still flirting on a 6th grade level.